Brian Sullivan
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Sit Up or Sit Down
Not long ago, my 8-year-old son and I had some "quality time" horsing around on the carpet in front of the TV. I grabbed his ankles and said, "Let’s do some sit-ups." He did so reluctantly and in an already limiting tone said, "OK, but I don’t think I can do more than 15." After he said this, I thought I would try out a little experiment. I would agree with him that he probably couldn’t do more than 15, and then while he was doing his sit-ups, I would make negative comments. I wanted to see what effect both his limiting attitude and then my confirmation of that attitude would have on his success.
"You are probably right, 15 or more is a lot," I said. He took a deep breath, put his arms behind his head, laid back and started. He came out of the gates strong, but while he was doing his sit-ups, I would make comments like, "Wow, this looks hard. I don’t think you are going to make it. I thought you could do more. Don’t disappoint your father. Are you in pain?"
By the time he hit 12, he was almost out of gas. As he attempted number 13, his cheeks had blown up like ripe tomatoes and with all his might he tried to pull his head up to his knees. After making it up about halfway, he let out a yell and then fell back to the ground as if he was a balloon that had just been popped. Jake’s first words were, "I told you that I couldn’t do more than 15." I then told him about my experiment. I said I believed his negative attitude affected him only getting to 13. I then told him that I also thought the negative comments I made while he was doing it also affected his ability to do more. He just looked at me like I was an overanalyzing freak.
Motivational Kool-Aid TM
I then said, "Jake, let’s take a rest and then try again. Except this time, I think you can do better. He countered, "Dad, I can’t do more than 15, you said it yourself." I asked him to try his absolute best. After joking around for a few minutes and a few laughs, I asked him to try again. I then said, "Jake, I believe you can do 25 sit-ups." After telling me to stop drinking the motivational Kool-Aid TM, he said he would give it a go. We then played a game where we thought of words that were positive that we could use while he was in action. We came up with words like champion, success, winner, and of course, totally awesome (that one was mine). After Jake recited these words a few times, you could already see a change in his posture. His shoulders were upright, his lips squeezed tight, his eyes focused, and he was ready.
The second try
I then grabbed Jake’s ankles as he flopped to the carpet and began. He came out fast and furious. About every three sit-ups I would say something like, "You are a champion. You are awesome. Jake is a winner. I believe in you." As he blew by number 10, his eyes remained straight ahead and focused. As I continued my motivational words, he easily waived goodbye to number 15. I figured he only had a few more in him but the more awesome I told him he was, the more awesome he was. After hitting 31 sit-ups, Jake finally succumbed to the rug. But somewhere off in the distance I heard the theme to "Chariots of Fire" as I looked down at my sit-up champion.
Non-scientific vs. scientific conclusion
You probably won’t find that experiment in the New England Journal of Medicine anytime soon, but for me it proved two things: Jake’s attitude affected his posture both negatively and positively, and my attitude as his leader also affected his posture. The positive attitude and the words I delivered as his leader while he was in action were like fuel to his mind and body. While my carpet experiment doesn’t prove it, there are dozens of real studies that do.
Not impressed? If you’re the type that needs empirical evidence, look no further than in Volume 72 of one of my favorite all-time classic journals called Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics (my wife believes I could use some myself). The journal contains a recent study that has linked negative emotions with lower immunity in the body. In short, negative people’s bodies don’t fight disease as well. That’s right. If you are grumpy, you are bound to get sick. If you are sick, your posture suffers. If your posture suffers, then your listening skills diminish. If your listening skills diminish, you stop learning. You stop learning in business, and you die!
So if you want to stay alive, and perform at the highest levels in business as a CEO, operations leader, product manager, salesperson, or administrative assistant, keep a positive attitude. Believe in your ability to go beyond the 15 "sit-ups." If you lead or influence others, don’t tell them that 15 is all you expect out of them. Inspire them, coach them and BELIEVE they can do more than they are doing now. At the end of the year, don’t be surprised if your business is 31 sit-ups over quota!
Brian Sullivan is president of PRECISE Selling and the author of the well known sales book, "20 Days to the Top." To learn more about Sullivan’s sales and leadership programs, visit him online at www.preciseselling.com.
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